Making money as an author

It’s lovely writing books for a living. Who wouldn’t want to do that? What’s that? Something about a stable income? No, no, I wouldn’t want that, don’t be foolish. Who needs a ‘stable income’? It’s not like money makes the world go round or the spiralling cost of living or, like, mortgages or anything like that.

Oh, hang on. Maybe money would actually be nice. My dogs like expensive treats. I really like holidays, and nice wine, and small plates at overpriced restaurants. Damn it, too late now.

There was a study a few years ago which revealed the average income for an author was £7000. A year. I’ve just Googled it, and the average rent is £15,000 a year. That seems to be … a problem.

The vast, vast majority of authors also have a day job. Some of them have a day job and kids. This is unfathomable to me, and I can only assume these people are superhuman. When I was a commissioning editor, authors would often say they just wanted to earn enough from writing to quit their job or, at the very least, go part-time. They’d look at me with hope in their tired eyes and I would awkwardly change the subject (because you can’t really have these conversations casually, especially without their agent present).

It’s tough, but books simply don’t bring in enough money for authors, or editors, to get good pay cheques (especially with so much money being shelled out to celeb ‘authors’ and their ghostwriters *eye roll*). One day soon, I’ll write an explainer on how getting paid works - royalties, rights sales, advances, etc, but for now, you just need to know that very few authors are rolling in it. Take this as a sign to go and order those books you were considering. Go on. I’ll wait.

I’m lucky. My upcoming book A Novel Murder and the next two in the series were bought for a decent sum of money in the UK, USA and Canada, allowing me to continue eating tiny dishes in restaurants for a little while yet. But even so, I certainly can’t relax.

When I’ve finished writing book 3, I have no idea what will happen next. I’ll probably have to write an entire novel on spec, which may well sell for a fraction of the cost of the last contract or, very possibly, won’t sell at all.

For the past year, I’ve enjoyed mostly writing. I say enjoyed, but I actually found book two in this series to be hell on earth to write, something I’ll discuss another day. But I’ve spent far too much of my advance and brought very little new money in, so this year things have to change. I’ve got to ‘diversify’.

A few years ago, I was a (part-time) lecturer at Oxford Brookes University, teaching undergrads about Publishing. University life wasn’t for me the first time around when I was a student, and it still wasn’t for me on the second. It seems frankly crazy to me to charge people north of ten grand to learn about the publishing industry.

At the same time, it’s an almost impossible industry to enter. Last time I was part of the hiring process for a new editorial assistant there were over 700 applicants. 700! So I do understand why someone might think a Masters will put them head and shoulders above the rest and give them that extra knowledge when it comes to interviews and applications, not to mention the first terrifying weeks of the job if you do manage to get one.

That’s why I’ve decided to run my own course. I started out in Marketing at Penguin Random House, before moving to Editorial and then up through the ranks to Editorial Director level. I’ve also been a freelance editor and an author, so my knowledge of the industry at this stage is quite 360.

I’m planning to teach the stuff that is going to actually be helpful to publishing hopefuls, for a very affordable price. That’s going to be a bit about the different departments and how they work together, what happens in the acquisition process, how to edit, how the finances work and all the rest. Everything that will have you skipping into the interview fully armed with more knowledge than a dictionary and more confidence than a particularly stunning peacock on its birthday.

I’m also going to start editing again. I might leave this until my wedding is over because planning a wedding just ten days before the launch of A Novel Murder, all while I’m trying to write book three and edit book two, is enough for now.

What else? What else will people pay me to do? I have no other skills! Help!

In all seriousness though, I am actually looking forward to this. Mostly, yes, it’s about diversifying income streams, but it’s not just that. No, honestly.

It’s also because writing full-time isn’t particularly productive. It’s just impossible (for me) to write for that many hours at a time. It can also be kind of lonely and sometimes maddening. I will enjoy teaching people about the industry I have such a love-hate relationship with. I will enjoy breaking my time up a bit more and sometimes actually talking to other people.

I’m also planning to launch a crime fiction event in Bristol, where I live. Crime Fest is running for the final time in May and after that, the stage is empty. For a city with so many brilliant independent bookshops (bookhaus, Gloucester Road Books and Storysmith all shortlisted for indie of the year at the Nibbies) it is oddly lacking in fun literary events.

What makes me qualified to run the next big thing? Nothing really, other than an overblown confidence, time to kill and a love of it all. Oh, and I’ve been to a fair few of course.

But project number one is my Get into Publishing Course, because that is something I am qualified for. It’s the thing I know about the most. And if you think of anything else I’m qualified for other than making up stories about murder, please let me know.